I have to put my two cents with the whole "Jon & Kate Plus 8" thing, especially since I wouldn't be surprised if Nathan is sick to death of hearing me going on and on about it. You know, we see it everywhere; on the magazines at the store, on the clip shows on TV (which, on a side note, if you don't watch The Soup on E!, you are missing a heckuva good time!!). The Gosselins are just plain everywhere.
Of course, last night was another two new episodes. I had them set to tape but only got to see commercials for them as yet (The Golden Girls was on and I didn't want to change the channel!). In the commercial for the "Kate's Birthday" episode, one of the sextuplets (a boy) yells loudly, "Happy Birthday Mom!" and a second later another sextuplet (a girl) screams a "Happy Birthday, Mom!" even louder, to the point that it was not a scream, but rather a screech. The next part of the commercial showed Kate and the kids at the Ace of Cakes (from Food Network) store and Kate was jokingly snapping at Duff, the guy who runs Ace of Cakes. Both segments stood out to me, although at the time I didn't put much more thought into them other than rolling my eyes at Kate being a bitch, again.
Currently I am reading a book called Captivating. It is what most people would call a "self-help" book or possibly "Christian inspirational." Either way, the point of this book is to kind of break down and analyze what makes a woman who she is and how to get past hurts in her life. In the chapter I have read most recently, the point was made that while a girl's father tells her (by his words and actions) what a woman's value is, it is a girl's mother who teaches her (also by her words and actions) how to be a woman. The mother is the example of femininity and shows her daughter how a woman acts and what the essence of a woman is.
Now obviously, many mothers do not teach true femininity, but rather a concept that was developed by their own experiences and their own mother's teachings. So we have a lot of women in the world who have no idea how to truly be a woman nor how to act like a woman.
How does all this tie into Jon & Kate? Well, I didn't realize it at the time I saw the commercial last night, but that segment was an excellent example of how our children, and specifically in this case our daughters, are who we mold them to be (unwittingly or not). I have watched enough Jon & Kate to realize that Kate often raises her voice when she wants attention focused on her. Obviously when she needs to be heard over a bunch of screaming kids, she must raise her voice, but when she wants Jon to pay attention to her, she raises her voice to him as well. When she wanted Duff at Ace of Cakes to pay attention to her, she raised her voice, even jokingly, to him. This not only shows her children that in order to be heard, you must be loud, but it also diminishes other people's, specifically men, roles in the world. In order for people to pay attention to you, you have to be louder than everyone else. It doesn't matter who the other person is that you have to be louder than, it just matters that you are louder.
Earlier in the commercial, when Kate's daughter yelled "Happy Birthday!" louder than the son that had yelled it first, it occurred to me that Kate may already be setting this standard without realizing it. The son's "Happy Birthday!" contribution was diminished by the daughter's louder scream. It wasn't an echo of the son's love for his mother, it was a trump. Is that how a woman is supposed to act? Is this what Kate is teaching her daughter? To be a woman is to be the loudest so that people will pay attention to you when you want it?
I am sure it could be argued that this is how kids are, and I am sure that there is a "multiple child" dynamic that is factoring into the children's behavior. Still, I can't help but speculate, and take mental notes, on what effect Kate's neuroses are having on her children. I have already seen Mady and Cara take on more responsibility since Jon's absence to help Kate out with the younger kids. Is this an unhealthy extension of Kate's controlling nature?
Who knows. I am not a psychologist and I sure ain't qualified to analyze anybody but myself. Still, it does help me to see these things happen if only to give me guidance as to the kind of parent I want to be to my children.
Of course, last night was another two new episodes. I had them set to tape but only got to see commercials for them as yet (The Golden Girls was on and I didn't want to change the channel!). In the commercial for the "Kate's Birthday" episode, one of the sextuplets (a boy) yells loudly, "Happy Birthday Mom!" and a second later another sextuplet (a girl) screams a "Happy Birthday, Mom!" even louder, to the point that it was not a scream, but rather a screech. The next part of the commercial showed Kate and the kids at the Ace of Cakes (from Food Network) store and Kate was jokingly snapping at Duff, the guy who runs Ace of Cakes. Both segments stood out to me, although at the time I didn't put much more thought into them other than rolling my eyes at Kate being a bitch, again.
Currently I am reading a book called Captivating. It is what most people would call a "self-help" book or possibly "Christian inspirational." Either way, the point of this book is to kind of break down and analyze what makes a woman who she is and how to get past hurts in her life. In the chapter I have read most recently, the point was made that while a girl's father tells her (by his words and actions) what a woman's value is, it is a girl's mother who teaches her (also by her words and actions) how to be a woman. The mother is the example of femininity and shows her daughter how a woman acts and what the essence of a woman is.
Now obviously, many mothers do not teach true femininity, but rather a concept that was developed by their own experiences and their own mother's teachings. So we have a lot of women in the world who have no idea how to truly be a woman nor how to act like a woman.
How does all this tie into Jon & Kate? Well, I didn't realize it at the time I saw the commercial last night, but that segment was an excellent example of how our children, and specifically in this case our daughters, are who we mold them to be (unwittingly or not). I have watched enough Jon & Kate to realize that Kate often raises her voice when she wants attention focused on her. Obviously when she needs to be heard over a bunch of screaming kids, she must raise her voice, but when she wants Jon to pay attention to her, she raises her voice to him as well. When she wanted Duff at Ace of Cakes to pay attention to her, she raised her voice, even jokingly, to him. This not only shows her children that in order to be heard, you must be loud, but it also diminishes other people's, specifically men, roles in the world. In order for people to pay attention to you, you have to be louder than everyone else. It doesn't matter who the other person is that you have to be louder than, it just matters that you are louder.
Earlier in the commercial, when Kate's daughter yelled "Happy Birthday!" louder than the son that had yelled it first, it occurred to me that Kate may already be setting this standard without realizing it. The son's "Happy Birthday!" contribution was diminished by the daughter's louder scream. It wasn't an echo of the son's love for his mother, it was a trump. Is that how a woman is supposed to act? Is this what Kate is teaching her daughter? To be a woman is to be the loudest so that people will pay attention to you when you want it?
I am sure it could be argued that this is how kids are, and I am sure that there is a "multiple child" dynamic that is factoring into the children's behavior. Still, I can't help but speculate, and take mental notes, on what effect Kate's neuroses are having on her children. I have already seen Mady and Cara take on more responsibility since Jon's absence to help Kate out with the younger kids. Is this an unhealthy extension of Kate's controlling nature?
Who knows. I am not a psychologist and I sure ain't qualified to analyze anybody but myself. Still, it does help me to see these things happen if only to give me guidance as to the kind of parent I want to be to my children.
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