Gone With the Wind
2:46 PM - Posted by Shelly - 0 comments
Yesterday marked the 70th anniversary of the film Gone With the Wind (GWTW). This is one of my all-time favorite movies, and my sister and I can not only quote, but act out a good chunk of the movie for you, if you asked.

In an effort to kill time until my baby is born, I have been reading quite a few recent articles on GWTW, and have been particularly interested in the ones regarding Hattie McDaniel's role and subsequent Oscar win as Mammy.

How Hattie made history with a racist role

McDaniel's Mammy role helped birth modern black Hollywood

The reason that I find those articles interesting is because of the author's thoughts on the issue of race and racism in the movie and the portrayal of the slaves and other black characters. I have to admit, I hadn't given this much thought. Being white, I don't know if the characters are a racist portrayal or a somewhat realistic reflection of the 1860's.

Articles like this cause me to examine my own prejudices and thoughts on race. While my family is entirely from the South, specifically the racially-charged areas around Birmingham, I was raised near Nashville, where the racial dynamic seemed more balanced to me. My father worked in the area of discrimination investigation, and I think he was my biggest influence on seeing everyone as the same. Growing up in the suburbs I knew factually that we had less black families than white families in the neighborhood, but that wasn't something that I thought about. The first time it occurred to me that there was something different about that were my grandmother’s negative comments about me wanting to marry Michael Jackson (back when he was alive, popular and sane). My grandmother also would not allow me to ask my best friend LaTrece to visit her with me because "they would come and burn crosses in her front yard." Not knowing anything about race relations in Birmingham, I had to ask why in the world someone would want to burn crosses because my friend was there.

Sadly, I have come to realize how much of an issue race still is in some places. And how much of a hot button issue it still is with regards to things like GWTW. The statement of "black women and men in the film are loyal, simple folk who wish little more from life than to take care of nuanced, needy white people" really struck a chord with me. The only character (besides Prissy, who I took to be an idiot just because she was an idiot) that seemed "simple" to me was Gerald O'Hara's butler, Pork. But Mammy, she was not simple at all. She seemed to be the wisest of all the characters. Yes, she was very loyal to Scarlett, but I saw that loyalty as noble. Scarlett needed Mammy because Scarlett was selfish and unwise. She may have been a good businesswoman, but she knew nothing of people and relationships. Mammy did.

I also found fault with the article saying "The depictions of African-Americans presented here are ludicrously narrow." I thought about that statement for a while, and honestly, I don't agree. I see the author's point, there really isn't a huge range for any of the black characters, but I also think that narrow doesn't necessarily mean lacking in depth. If you are looking for depth in a character, you will really only find it in Rhett, and maybe Scarlett. EVERYONE is a shallow character. Take Melanie, for example: she was sweet, kind to everyone and loved most everyone. That was it. We don't know why... she just was. Talk about no depth. We don't know anything about her family (other than Ashley and Charles) and we don't know what she really thinks of those surrounding her, other than she loves them. So I would say that Mammy was a deeper character than Melanie, and she wasn't even one of the four major stars of the movie

I could go on and on, but this would end up as the longest blog. Suffice it to say that I think the two biggest points to be made are that it would be fair to compare the portrayal of characters in the movie with each other, not with our standards of today; and that I believe that Hattie McDaniel made great strides for her race in her portrayal of Mammy and in winning the Oscar. I remember her quote "I'd rather play a maid than be one." and I have a lot of respect for that.

I am curious as to what others, especially black people, think of Hattie McDaniel, her role in GWTW and if the movie does come across as racist. If you think so, why?


Why I Chose a Midwife, Part 3
9:00 PM - Posted by Shelly - 0 comments
Continuing my story...

Makes some sense, right? Well, it's not that simple, easy or accurate. First, a woman doesn't always ovulate exactly 14 days after her period begins. Just like you don't always get hungry two hours and 15 minutes after you eat, every time you eat, ovulation is based on different factors. Hormones dictate ovulation and many, many things can affect hormones. Medications, stress, diet, etc. And, no two women are alike, so why should it be assumed that in this one respect we are all EXACTLY the same? It makes no sense. Our periods are all different, so why should our ovulation all be the same?

Second, while most women don't know (or keep track of) when they ovulated, that doesn't mean that all women don't know. Some women keep track of their menstrual cycle. Some women have such a regular cycle that it makes it easy to keep track of. Some women know their body well enough to tell when they can expect their period or ovulation.

With all that in mind, I go into my appointment knowing that the due date formula is not going to apply to me. As my cycle is so irregular, I keep track of it very closely. Because of this, I know exactly the day I ovulated and got pregnant. Prepared with an answer when asked "When was the first day of your last period?" I tell the nurse that it was Feb. 2, but that I ovulated and conceived on March 17. She tells me my due date is Nov. 9. I tell her that it should be in December because I conceived in March. She then tells me that the "conception date doesn't matter" and that my due date is calculated solely on my period and that the due date is Nov. 9. The appointment went downhill from there.

I won't go into the details of the rest of my appointment simply because they are only vague in my memory. I mentally checked out after the due date discussion. The nurse did make a negative comment about Nathan emptying the litter box and then something else about their office having the "Cadillac way of giving birth" but I didn't care. My decision to see a midwife was solid at that point. Incidentally, my midwife believed me when I told her the conception date. Also, the "dating" ultrasound I had later the same week confirmed my conception date, putting my due date in early December... the same date that I had told the OB/GYN nurse.

In the next few months, I did a lot of reading and watched a few documentaries on childbirth. I educated myself on what the options are for childbirth, and what I wanted out of my child's birth. I learned about the intervention cascade effect, and the dangers of commonly used drugs in childbirth.

Still, the thing is, so many people have negative comments about natural childbirth, and specifically how I will handle my own child's birth. I have gotten to the point where I simply don't honestly or completely answer questions that people ask about my child's upcoming birth. I often hear the "what if something goes wrong" question when voicing my desires for a home birth. The immediate reaction is that childbirth is a traumatic medical time bomb waiting to explode and kill everybody. It's a natural bodily function, not a disease.

Another response I get to my birth choices is the "you'll want that epidural when you feel the pain" kind of statement. This is frustrating because not only is it discouraging, but it is insulting as well. Not only do you not know how I will handle labor, I don't know how I will handle labor. I've never given birth before and my labor may be very, very different from yours. Just like our menstrual cycles are not the same, our labors will most likely not be the same, either. It is because of statements like that that I am much more private with those who say discouraging things to me (or about me) regarding my choice for a natural childbirth.

So, the long answer to the question of why I chose a midwife is this: I have done research and have come to the conclusion that mine and my child's health and well-being are of the utmost importance to me. To compromise either of our health and well-being for the sake of some pain relief is not something I want to do. God designed my body to conceive, grow, birth and feed a child. I believe that the ability to move freely during labor, along with supportive people in attendance, will help with pain management in labor and delivery. I am accepting the pain involved in the process in order for my child to be alert, healthy and responsive. I believe that the fewer interventions performed during labor and birth, the less chance of complications happening.

I believe that my daughter will be able to breastfeed sooner and with less complications, and that she will bond with both her father and me more easily than if she and I were medicated. I believe that her transition from the safe environment of my womb to the more harsh outside world will be more peaceful and less traumatic if all three of us are aware of our surroundings and have the ability to feel and move.

While I understand that many people do not think that my choices are good, wise or healthy choices, I have since given up on changing people's minds. However, I do wish that those who do not agree with my choices respect the fact that these are my choices to make. Negative comments and discouraging words aren't good for anybody.

The impetus for this long blog entry was this article on the Vanderbilt Nurse Midwives: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/magazines/vanderbilt-magazine/2009/11/rebirth-of-the-midwife/. If you are interested in learning more about midwifery or the women who will be attending the birth of my daughter, please have a look at the article.

And hopefully my next blog entry will be a birth announcement!


Why I Chose a Midwife, Part 2
5:00 PM - Posted by Shelly - 1 comments
The continuing saga of my decision to use a midwife for the birth of my child...

Nine years ago, my best friend gave birth to her first child. She planned to have a natural birth with an OB/GYN, and I am ashamed to admit that I scoffed at her decision. Ultimately, she had some pain relievers, but most of her labor was unmedicated. After the birth of her second child with a midwife in a birthing center, I heard more in depth the differences between the two births. I was surprised to hear how differently she was treated by the OB versus the midwife. Essentially, the OB had let her suffer for hours with a slight complication that could have been easily remedied early on. The midwife, when encountering the same complication, took care of the issue within a couple of contractions. I was stunned at the lack of sympathy and care she was shown during her first birth.

Which brings me to my own experience. After Nathan and I discussed our desires for this pregnancy and birth, we had pretty much decided on going to the Vanderbilt midwives. However, because of some medications I was taking at the time, I wanted to get in to see my OB/GYN as quickly as possible so that I would have some guidance on whether or not to continue my meds. I have been seeing this OB/GYN for years and really do like him. However, he has said some things in the past that has made me question using him for a birth. He told me, many years ago, that if I ever had children, I would have to have a Cesarean section (C-section) because my pelvic opening was too small. This made no sense to me then or now. How can you know if one object can pass through another without seeing the first object? Plus, I have known other women who were told the exact same thing by a doctor and those women gave birth vaginally.

Anyway, I made an appointment with his nurse for my first prenatal visit. When I arrived, the waiting room was full (as usual) and loud. I remember thinking that this environment was not going to be conducive to a calm, happy pregnancy for me if I had to face this noisy, crowded waiting room every month. After I was called back, the nurse got my vitals, did a pregnancy test just to make sure and then started recording my history. Of course, the first thing they ask is the first date of your last menstrual period. This information is used to calculate your due date. For those unfamiliar with this formula, the logic goes like this: it is assumed (based on nothing but an assumption) that a woman ovulates 14 days after the first day of her period. The date of ovulation is considered the date that the baby was conceived. A baby gestates for generally 38 weeks from the date of conception. So, if you take the first day of the last period and add 40 weeks (38 weeks gestation + 14 days to ovulation) you get the baby's due date.

To be continued...


Why I Chose a Midwife, Part 1
8:38 AM - Posted by Shelly - 1 comments
I have had quite a few people ask me why I decided to have a midwife, so I figured I'd share my thoughts on the subject. Because this is a long post, I figured I'd break it up in easy-to-swallow segments.

The short answer to the question is that I want to have a natural, unmedicated childbirth. I believe that it is not only best for my baby, but for me as well. Surprisingly, I have not had the support in this decision that I had expected, even from family members.

Twenty-two years ago I and my other sisters were allowed to watch our youngest sister's birth. I was 12 years old at the time and her birth had a profound effect on me. My step-mother was induced (I still don't know why) a few days before her due date, so everything surrounding the birth was very scheduled. We went into the hospital early in the morning, got my step-mother checked-in and set up in the labor and delivery room. The room was massive, with chairs and an ottoman. I remember the nurses starting the drugs that would induce labor, and I remember my step-sister and I napping a bit because nothing, as far as we could tell, was really happening. We would have to leave the L&D room from time to time so that my step-mother could be checked, but otherwise, it was all of us just sitting around.

Finally, in the early afternoon, I woke up from a nap to find a few extra nurses in the room and realized that we could all see the baby's head. I was excited that my sister was about to be born... except she wasn't. We waited and waited. She was right there ready to pop out; we could all see it! I suppose we asked what the holdup was and were told that we were waiting on the doctor to arrive to deliver the baby. I don't know how long we waited, but it seemed ridiculous to me. There were plenty of perfectly capable nurses in the room, many who had already been taking care of my step-mother anyway, who could catch the baby. It made zero sense to me, and on top of that, my step-mother had to sit with a ready-to-be-born baby inside her just for the convenience of the doctor.

More to come...