Continuing my story...
Makes some sense, right? Well, it's not that simple, easy or accurate. First, a woman doesn't always ovulate exactly 14 days after her period begins. Just like you don't always get hungry two hours and 15 minutes after you eat, every time you eat, ovulation is based on different factors. Hormones dictate ovulation and many, many things can affect hormones. Medications, stress, diet, etc. And, no two women are alike, so why should it be assumed that in this one respect we are all EXACTLY the same? It makes no sense. Our periods are all different, so why should our ovulation all be the same?
Second, while most women don't know (or keep track of) when they ovulated, that doesn't mean that all women don't know. Some women keep track of their menstrual cycle. Some women have such a regular cycle that it makes it easy to keep track of. Some women know their body well enough to tell when they can expect their period or ovulation.
With all that in mind, I go into my appointment knowing that the due date formula is not going to apply to me. As my cycle is so irregular, I keep track of it very closely. Because of this, I know exactly the day I ovulated and got pregnant. Prepared with an answer when asked "When was the first day of your last period?" I tell the nurse that it was Feb. 2, but that I ovulated and conceived on March 17. She tells me my due date is Nov. 9. I tell her that it should be in December because I conceived in March. She then tells me that the "conception date doesn't matter" and that my due date is calculated solely on my period and that the due date is Nov. 9. The appointment went downhill from there.
I won't go into the details of the rest of my appointment simply because they are only vague in my memory. I mentally checked out after the due date discussion. The nurse did make a negative comment about Nathan emptying the litter box and then something else about their office having the "Cadillac way of giving birth" but I didn't care. My decision to see a midwife was solid at that point. Incidentally, my midwife believed me when I told her the conception date. Also, the "dating" ultrasound I had later the same week confirmed my conception date, putting my due date in early December... the same date that I had told the OB/GYN nurse.
In the next few months, I did a lot of reading and watched a few documentaries on childbirth. I educated myself on what the options are for childbirth, and what I wanted out of my child's birth. I learned about the intervention cascade effect, and the dangers of commonly used drugs in childbirth.
Still, the thing is, so many people have negative comments about natural childbirth, and specifically how I will handle my own child's birth. I have gotten to the point where I simply don't honestly or completely answer questions that people ask about my child's upcoming birth. I often hear the "what if something goes wrong" question when voicing my desires for a home birth. The immediate reaction is that childbirth is a traumatic medical time bomb waiting to explode and kill everybody. It's a natural bodily function, not a disease.
Another response I get to my birth choices is the "you'll want that epidural when you feel the pain" kind of statement. This is frustrating because not only is it discouraging, but it is insulting as well. Not only do you not know how I will handle labor, I don't know how I will handle labor. I've never given birth before and my labor may be very, very different from yours. Just like our menstrual cycles are not the same, our labors will most likely not be the same, either. It is because of statements like that that I am much more private with those who say discouraging things to me (or about me) regarding my choice for a natural childbirth.
So, the long answer to the question of why I chose a midwife is this: I have done research and have come to the conclusion that mine and my child's health and well-being are of the utmost importance to me. To compromise either of our health and well-being for the sake of some pain relief is not something I want to do. God designed my body to conceive, grow, birth and feed a child. I believe that the ability to move freely during labor, along with supportive people in attendance, will help with pain management in labor and delivery. I am accepting the pain involved in the process in order for my child to be alert, healthy and responsive. I believe that the fewer interventions performed during labor and birth, the less chance of complications happening.
I believe that my daughter will be able to breastfeed sooner and with less complications, and that she will bond with both her father and me more easily than if she and I were medicated. I believe that her transition from the safe environment of my womb to the more harsh outside world will be more peaceful and less traumatic if all three of us are aware of our surroundings and have the ability to feel and move.
While I understand that many people do not think that my choices are good, wise or healthy choices, I have since given up on changing people's minds. However, I do wish that those who do not agree with my choices respect the fact that these are my choices to make. Negative comments and discouraging words aren't good for anybody.
The impetus for this long blog entry was this article on the Vanderbilt Nurse Midwives: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/magazines/vanderbilt-magazine/2009/11/rebirth-of-the-midwife/. If you are interested in learning more about midwifery or the women who will be attending the birth of my daughter, please have a look at the article.
And hopefully my next blog entry will be a birth announcement!
Makes some sense, right? Well, it's not that simple, easy or accurate. First, a woman doesn't always ovulate exactly 14 days after her period begins. Just like you don't always get hungry two hours and 15 minutes after you eat, every time you eat, ovulation is based on different factors. Hormones dictate ovulation and many, many things can affect hormones. Medications, stress, diet, etc. And, no two women are alike, so why should it be assumed that in this one respect we are all EXACTLY the same? It makes no sense. Our periods are all different, so why should our ovulation all be the same?
Second, while most women don't know (or keep track of) when they ovulated, that doesn't mean that all women don't know. Some women keep track of their menstrual cycle. Some women have such a regular cycle that it makes it easy to keep track of. Some women know their body well enough to tell when they can expect their period or ovulation.
With all that in mind, I go into my appointment knowing that the due date formula is not going to apply to me. As my cycle is so irregular, I keep track of it very closely. Because of this, I know exactly the day I ovulated and got pregnant. Prepared with an answer when asked "When was the first day of your last period?" I tell the nurse that it was Feb. 2, but that I ovulated and conceived on March 17. She tells me my due date is Nov. 9. I tell her that it should be in December because I conceived in March. She then tells me that the "conception date doesn't matter" and that my due date is calculated solely on my period and that the due date is Nov. 9. The appointment went downhill from there.
I won't go into the details of the rest of my appointment simply because they are only vague in my memory. I mentally checked out after the due date discussion. The nurse did make a negative comment about Nathan emptying the litter box and then something else about their office having the "Cadillac way of giving birth" but I didn't care. My decision to see a midwife was solid at that point. Incidentally, my midwife believed me when I told her the conception date. Also, the "dating" ultrasound I had later the same week confirmed my conception date, putting my due date in early December... the same date that I had told the OB/GYN nurse.
In the next few months, I did a lot of reading and watched a few documentaries on childbirth. I educated myself on what the options are for childbirth, and what I wanted out of my child's birth. I learned about the intervention cascade effect, and the dangers of commonly used drugs in childbirth.
Still, the thing is, so many people have negative comments about natural childbirth, and specifically how I will handle my own child's birth. I have gotten to the point where I simply don't honestly or completely answer questions that people ask about my child's upcoming birth. I often hear the "what if something goes wrong" question when voicing my desires for a home birth. The immediate reaction is that childbirth is a traumatic medical time bomb waiting to explode and kill everybody. It's a natural bodily function, not a disease.
Another response I get to my birth choices is the "you'll want that epidural when you feel the pain" kind of statement. This is frustrating because not only is it discouraging, but it is insulting as well. Not only do you not know how I will handle labor, I don't know how I will handle labor. I've never given birth before and my labor may be very, very different from yours. Just like our menstrual cycles are not the same, our labors will most likely not be the same, either. It is because of statements like that that I am much more private with those who say discouraging things to me (or about me) regarding my choice for a natural childbirth.
So, the long answer to the question of why I chose a midwife is this: I have done research and have come to the conclusion that mine and my child's health and well-being are of the utmost importance to me. To compromise either of our health and well-being for the sake of some pain relief is not something I want to do. God designed my body to conceive, grow, birth and feed a child. I believe that the ability to move freely during labor, along with supportive people in attendance, will help with pain management in labor and delivery. I am accepting the pain involved in the process in order for my child to be alert, healthy and responsive. I believe that the fewer interventions performed during labor and birth, the less chance of complications happening.
I believe that my daughter will be able to breastfeed sooner and with less complications, and that she will bond with both her father and me more easily than if she and I were medicated. I believe that her transition from the safe environment of my womb to the more harsh outside world will be more peaceful and less traumatic if all three of us are aware of our surroundings and have the ability to feel and move.
While I understand that many people do not think that my choices are good, wise or healthy choices, I have since given up on changing people's minds. However, I do wish that those who do not agree with my choices respect the fact that these are my choices to make. Negative comments and discouraging words aren't good for anybody.
The impetus for this long blog entry was this article on the Vanderbilt Nurse Midwives: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/magazines/vanderbilt-magazine/2009/11/rebirth-of-the-midwife/. If you are interested in learning more about midwifery or the women who will be attending the birth of my daughter, please have a look at the article.
And hopefully my next blog entry will be a birth announcement!
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